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I was telling my adult daughter how much easier school was when she attended school than when I attended school. I told her kids today do not understand that because they do not have a clue about school when I attended. They used to teach us important skills. As I was going through the skills I retain to this day, she told me something I did not know about schools today: SCHOOLS NO LONGER TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO SURVIVE ATOMIC BOMB ATTACKS!

Parents, especially parents my daughter's age, please, please, please pass this information on to your children since the schools, apparently, no longer feel the need to do so.

HOW TO SURVIVE AN ATOMIC BOMB ATTACK

1. Immediately upon hearing the atomic bomb sirens, or seeing a brilliant flash of light followed by a mushroom cloud rising in the distance, get away from all windows, lie flat on the ground, and cover your head with your arms to prevent getting vaporized.

2. If you don't get vaporized, get to the local fallout shelter as soon as possible. If you cannot get to the fallout shelter, go to the basement and stock up on canned foods and plenty of water. Cover any windows with cardboard and duct tape to prevent more fallout than is going to get in anyway.

3. Fallout will appear on the canned foods as dust. Do not blow the fallout off the cans; rather, use a cloth to pick up the fallout. A used t-shirt will do, but you may want to use a couple of t-shirts over the duration of your stay. (You probably should also put a lid or cap on the water, now that I think about it.)

4. Wait two to three weeks for the fallout to go away, but you should expect a very different life when you emerge, unless you have an understanding employer.

I would like to add this to that: Fallout shelters have limited space. If you have a miserable life going anyway, PLEASE save the space for those of us who want to live.

It gripes me that schools today are not teaching this important information. It makes me wonder what schools are teaching children today!

Learn more about this author, Tom Koecke.
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