Grubs problem? Believe it or not, Flypaper will fix that.

Yes, Flypaper. Let me explain.

You're eating lunch. Flies carry disease. Their hairy, segmented little legs are dripping with disease-causing germs. But if a fly buzzes by, do you fumigate the house?

Or do you use a Fly swatter, instead? Perhaps... Flypaper?

Let's step outside. Get out a shovel, and dig up a chunk of lawn. Any Grubs down there?

No problem.

Pesticide companies have us trained to aim and shoot our biggest guns - detonate Bombs - annihilate the insect enemy before it's too late. Thanks to them, ONE Grub is a cue to turn your Lawn into an EPA Superfund Site.

This is only the beginning, they warn. The way they see it, Grubs are a threat to all mankind.

Let's look hard at some of those Grub Over-Killers:

Bayer Garden Provado Lawn Grub Killer - Active ingredient: Imidacloprid ("Merit"), a tobacco toxin banned, among other reasons, because of what some scientists believe it has done to the nation's Bees. The manufacturer, Scotts Miracle Gro, reformulated its GrubEx Grub Killer, replacing Imidacloprid with Halofenozide, another controversial cocktail. That application in several states was denied.

Rhne-Poulenc Regent is a broad spectrum systemic pyrazole insecticide. Active ingredient: Fipronil. French beekeepers raised the red flag on this one. Quoted in Wikipedia, they railed, "It's enough for the insect to alight on the plant to receive a dose of neurotoxicity. All the auxiliary fauna is decimated."

Ortho's "GrubBGone" and "Ortho Max", Hi-Yield "Kill-A-Grub", RohMid "Mach 2" - Active Ingredient: Halofenozide, aka "N-tert-butyl-N-(4-chlorobenzo yl)benzohydrazide" is BANNED in many regions due to EPA concerns about fish poisoning.

"Maxide", "Green Light", "Black Leaf", Scotts "Grub EX" granules are based on Diazinon, a colorless, nearly odorless oganophosphate that has killed several people. It was withdrawn in 2004 but it's still on a lot of garages shelves and in tool sheds.

Trouble is, Grubkiller don't kill only Grubs. These pesticides kill Ladybugs. Butterflies. Earthworms and Ants. They're not good for YOU, either. Spray and sprinkle them around enough and you can say goodbye to Fido, the Parakeets, the Cat, the Bunny, the Lizard and the Snake. Bid farewell to the Birds who EAT those tainted Grubs for breakfast.

But they will completely solve your Grubs problem.

Are you with me?

Consider instead, then, Flypaper. 21st-century science has some hot new Flypapers to deal with those wiggly little C-shaped Japanese Beetle larvae (Popillia japonica) and their Grubby little friends. New Biological War Flypaper. Parasitic Wasps. Predatory Beetles. Hostile Protozoa and Fungi.

Got Milky Spore Disease? Bacillus popillae, a fatal Grubs plague, launches an attack on Grubs that would send chills down your spine. Best of all, when an infected Grub dies, billions of new Bacteria are released into your soil, ready to pounce on the next egg that hatches.

Then there's the tiny soil-borne Nematodes named Heterorhabditis bacteriophora and Steinernema glaseri. One dose of these delicate parasites will turn your Japanese Beetles larvae population into so much Chitin. They also attack Fleas, Cucumber Beetles, Junebugs, Red Imported Fire Ants, Cockroaches and Termites.

The wonders of modern science. The charm of Integrated Pest Management. State of the art.

Tell me, if you cut yourself shaving, do you call an ambulance?

Got Grubs? Terrific! I'd say you've found some free high-protein Bird Food.

Too many, you can control with Flypaper.

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