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The weekend father can make an immense difference in the health and well being of his kids, provided he follows certain principles.

(I) Plan events and activities that BOTH father and children can enjoy. Nothing is more disappointing than a bored father, or disinterested offspring. The week end visits become dreaded, rather than a time of pleasure. Following this principle takes some creative thought on the part of the dad. Events like skating, swimming, going to a movie both will like, learning to play role-playing games, and such are just a few of the options. The father must be creative

I fondly remember an afternoon when my two girls and son sat around the house listening to classical music! We have viewed so many Star Wars and Indiana Jones type movies, that I took a chance and went to the local library and signed out a whole bunch of heroic and epic themes from the classics. I then challenged my kids to shut their eyes while I played a theme (like "Ride of the Valkeries") and imagine what kind of movie scene would go with the music. I couldn't believe the imagination and enthusiasm that emerged from the exercise (and they developed an appreciation for classical music at the same time)

(II) Help your children meet a new set of friends. Weekends suffer because the kids are drawn away from their set of friends. Carefully design a strategy whereby your progeny can develop week end friends. Perhaps you have friends you can visit who have children close to the same age as yours. Or, scout out places like parks, playgrounds, schools, or the neighborhood where children gather for regular sports or activities. Encourage your kids to join in these on a regular basis to give them the opportunity to develop friendships.

(III) Go traveling and exploring with your children. List all of the places that you have always wanted to visit but never got around to it. The joy of sharing new places and activities will be fun for all of you.

(IV) Start projects that will take more than the weekend to complete, for example, plant a small garden. Each week the father and his kids will have an on-going shared interest that all will look forward to.

(V) Plan occasions whereby your kids get to know your side of the family. They should be aware that they have access to a whole set of resource people. In future years, your kids will thank you for it.

(VI) Be willing to miss a weekend visit if one or more of your children are involved in a special event or opportunity. The schedule of events that are meaningful to your children will almost always conflict with the father's custodial schedule. Even if it is disappointing, don't prevent your kids from missing special opportunities because these fall on "your days". If they are stuck with you, they can't help but be a little sorrowful that they have been denied something special to them. If such occasions become too frequent negotiate alternative times that you can be with you children.

(VII) NEVER badmouth your ex-spouse (even if she resorts to such tactics). The time you spend with your kids is precious. Don't ruin it by negative behavior, especially if your children are caught in the middle. Children are much smarter than we give them credit for. They will come to understand your non-negative approach

There are probably more principles to abide by, but from my experience, I found the above to be the most effective in establishing a healthy and happy relationship with your kids.

Learn more about this author, Lorne Yacuk.
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