Be Careful What You Wish For

Several years ago, I accepted a medical retirement from my job as an Air Traffic Controller. I could stay home to spend more time with my children and not worry about health insurance or money. In spite of my medical problems, I remember worrying about my good fortune. I felt like I had won the lottery. After all, " to every one to whom much was given, much shall be required from him." (Luke 12:48) What did God have in store for me?

I am a divorced mother with two sons and they're nuts. Literally. Okay, I'll be more politically correct, they both have behavior problems caused by atypically wired brains. Asperger Syndrome and ADD affect them the most. Asperger is a syndrome on the Autistic Spectrum; for more information follow the URLs at the bottom of the page. Individuals with Asperger generally have higher IQs (especially verbal), are socially isolated, and behave more eccentrically than typical members of the population. Just as a blind person cannot tell what obstacles are in their path simply by looking, a person struggling with Asperger cannot tell how another person is feeling by observing body language, facial expressions or tone of voice. Since individuals with Asperger tend to "sound" mature and accomplished (because of their extraordinary verbal IQ) typical people expect more functional behavior from them than they are capable of.

I've had the dubious pleasure of learning how to deal with explosive behavior (http://www.aspires-relationships.com/ASPIRES_12/art icles_behavioral_forms_of_stress_management_for_indi viduals_with_as.htm), calling the police on my children, and arranging for residential treatment and hospitalizations. They were both ejected from an airplane once because of their disruptive behavior. I imposed house arrest on us because my youngest son, William, shoved a shopping cart into a woman at the grocery store.

I've tried various parenting techniques, read books, and taken as many classes as I can get my hands on. I've paid thousands of dollars on therapy and single handedly kept my local pharmacy in business. I militantly enforced early bedtimes, denied video games entre into my house, and actively censored "fighty" shows like Pokemon and Power Rangers. Two years ago, I even let Jason go live with his father. To my surprise, it did not snow in the lower elements.

My ex-husband, Michael, proceeded to disregard all the special-education services (most significantly emotional support)

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