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to be with her. I was so torn. I was having feelings that just felt right. Feelings that I had never felt before. I felt as though I was finally feeling what "real love" was suppose to feel like. I had a family, I had children to think of. What on earth was I going to do? In the back of my mind I kept thinking at forty five, I was not getting any younger. Would I die before I could truly be the person I was? What about my kids, would they hate me? Would they not want to be with me?

When I finally told my husband that I wanted a divorce, it got really hard to deal with. I vowed to stay in the house until the end, when the divorce would be final, for the kids sake. My husband threatened me with exposing me as a bad mother, not fit for having custody of my children because I was a lesbian. He was bad mouthing me to all of his family and to those he worked with and others that we had as friends together. I was scared to death to say the least. My children meant the world to me. It was two months until finalization of the divorce that I found a house that I could afford and would be in a good area for the kids in the same school district. My partner and I moved in and we started our lives together.

The agreement in the divorce was that there would be shared custody and the children, ages 15 and 12 could go where they wanted to be. My son chose to come with me and my daughter chose to stay with her Dad. They were back and forth between residences without any set schedule and things worked out very well. After the divorce was final, my children came to me with the information that their Dad had decided to come out to them and told them he was gay. This was no real surprise to me as I had kind of known this all along. I really and truly think I did the man a favor. Too bad he had to run me down to everyone when basically he was in the same situation that I was.

Later I had learned from my son that, he himself was gay and was glad to be able to tell me. He felt, I'm sure that it wouldn't be hard to come out to either of us beings we were both gay. I told him that a Mom knows when her son is gay and that I knew it for a long while. I told him that I was just waiting for him to be comfortable enough with himself to be able to come and tell me. How fortunate for him that he was able to do this at an early age. Society allows it now where, it did not back when I was a teenager. I can truly say, I have no regrets about waiting so long. I am so happy to have my two beautiful children. These children are so open and honest and very accepting of those that are different from them. My son has a great job and my daughter is in college working on her teaching degree. For as much as they had gone through, things turned out pretty well. Everyone is in the place they need to be and everyone is happy with the choices that they have made for themselves. How lucky we all are!

Jerry Springer or not? You be the judge!

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