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type. I was kind of realizing that for some reason I was attracted to this type of guy. I went with this guy for about a year and then decided to move in with him. I put my feelings aside and carried on, "like I was suppose to." I lived with this man for five years and then married him. We had two children, a boy and a girl. Oh yes I still had "those feelings" but shoved them aside and focused on my family.

11 and 8 we bought a computer for the house. We felt it would be educational for the kids to learn to use it. Finally a couple of years later, we got an Internet connection and I learned to cruise to places far and near. I found places "out there" where I could confess my hidden feelings to others who were also gay. I began to feel comfortable with myself. I had not let these feelings out to anyone but that cousin of mine when we were just teens. I had never known a gay person. I had only "heard of them." "Out there", there were hundreds. I met real life with a couple of local people I had met online. Other women. Surprisingly enough they were normal! I got to know some of these people pretty closely over the Internet and became more and more comfortable with myself. I was "out" to the Internet world. It felt great. It felt so right. I was not ashamed. I continued my cyber life, feeling it was safe and I was hurting no one, husband, kids or other family members.

A couple of years later I attended an event with my husband in which his place of employment was involved. I met several of his employees and was introduced to a lesbian couple. I caught the glance of one of the pair and felt riveted to the floor. There was no doubt a connection there. It was so magnetic. We were invited by them to go out a few times and I got to know this lady a little better each time we went out. It became a once a week event to go out with them. It seemed very natural for us to pair off. This person I was attracted to and I and my husband with her partner. They had like interests and enjoyed each others company. This allowed "us" to become more familiar with each other and more comfortable. On the one occasion out, I finally told her that I thought I was bi-sexual and that I had never told anyone before. She told me that she knew that I was gay the minute she met me.

My friend and I did many things together like bike riding, working out at the gym, and also played on a dart league together. Our feelings grew into something more then we expected. She asked me to leave my husband

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