by Avian

Created on: July 27, 2007   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

Coming out. Two small words but a lot involved for most people who would like to act upon them. Some people have told me that I have a Jerry Springer life.

A little background here: I have always been a slightly less then a feminine girl. Not by any means masculine but somewhere down the middle. I didn't mind wearing hand-me-downs from my older brother and would play with cars and trucks right along with my younger brother. I never really ever thought of myself as a boy or girl to be honest. I think this could be the case with a lot of young children, straight or gay. By the age of thirteen it occurred to me that I enjoyed the company of other girls and would catch myself giving them lingering looks. Realizing that it wasn't "normal" for me to be doing this, I tried to be a little less obvious. High school for me was in the early 70's, so it was almost unheard of to be coming out at that time. Being gay was something that was always scoffed at and joked about. We all had our suspicions as to who might be gay!

I acted upon my feelings for women with a girl cousin of mine. I did not tell her I was gay but we would act out scenes which involved intimacy. I was around fourteen years old at this time. Neither one of us ever spoke of what we did together, even to each other until years later when we had both reached our early fifties.

Just out of high school I started working at a local factory and was matched up with the son of a fellow worker. A very good looking guy and just as sweet as could be. From the beginning I had a feeling about this guy that he was a bit feminine but not overly. Just enough to bring it to mind. I got to know him and soon we decided to get married. He was in the Navy at the time so one of the times he came home on leave, we married. About a year later I received a letter from him telling me that he had something very serious to tell me and totally confessed being gay in a very lengthy letter. I knew he was from the start. I knew the feelings that I had myself about the same sex but still my secret would go on. Not to disappoint my parents and other family members. We divorced with the prodding of my Mother to put this behind me and my Dad mentioning that there was probably "a few of those Navy guys like that."

About a year went by and I met another guy at a job that I had taken at a hardware store. This guy was about the same as the first. Very good looking and slightly on the feminine side. I told myself that not all men have to be the burly

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>