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GETTING TIGHT WITH UNCLE SAM

Say you've just received that rolled-up piece of parchment from a higher-learning institution declaring that you are ready for the working world. Or maybe you've been working for a while and have decided, for whatever reason, that you need a different environment/boss/challenge/set of duties. You are ready to make one of the following professional changes:

1 - Go into business for yourself

2 - Work for a private company

3 - Work for local or state government

4 - Work for the federal government

5 - Go back to living in your parents' basement until a desperate talent agent notices your talent for balancing a bowl of apples on your chin while whistling 80s sitcom themes.

For purposes of this article, we can ignore the aforementioned entrepreneurs (1), private employees (2), local & state employees (3), and shlubs (5). If you are genuinely interested in researching any of those options, you should probably stop reading now, but if you truly want to become a g-man or g-woman, take heed. Also, please realize that the following are merely suggestions to help smooth your transition and hopefully alleviate any future job frustrations.

== Find Your Passion And Stick With It ==

Take stock of your interests and what you've been doing for fun outside of school or work. When you go to the airport, do you ever wonder what those people up in the control tower are doing? Try the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration). Do you feel a need to support those members of our troops who have seen combat? Try DVA (Department of Veteran Affairs). Are you fascinated by how paper money is made? Try the BEP (Bureau of Engraving and Printing). Are you the type who just can't get enough of the great outdoors? Try the FS (Forest Service). The list is virtually endless.

As with any job or long-term commitment that will fill most of your waking hours, you'd better make sure it's a subject (or related to a subject) that you truly enjoy, and will continue to enjoy as you grow older. If not, once the novelty wears off, you may eventually be reduced to an empty shell, going through the motions like an automaton - unthinking, unblinking, and thoroughly devoid of any zest for life. Remember, they expect you to do this for 30+ years! You'll have to either find a way to entertain yourself, or simply get out. Soon.

== Be Ready To Fill Out Lots Of Forms ==

As sure as there are scandals in politics, you'll need to fill out forms as you go through federal application protocols. Assuming

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