A friend of mine recently decided to get back into the on-line dating scene. I encouraged her because, well, why not? Anyway, somehow, I ended up back on-line myself (and somehow involved some encouragement from said friend) after over a year and swearing up and down, right and left, backwards and forwards that I would never do it again. Ever. Period. No matter what. But, I guess we are all entitled to change our minds. I mean, isn't that what makes us human? Isn't that how we progress?
After going out Friday night, I got home and back on-line . I reactivated my profile on my site of choice, changed my pictures, changed my greeting, removed a lot of the information I had previously shared, and voila. I was in business. Considering I am writing a post about it today, Sunday, it should be no surprise to you that I have decided that this was a bad idea.
Now, I'm not going to knock on-line dating in general. I know there are people out there who have met their spouses this way. I don't have any kind of fundamental problem with it. Hell, I was engaged to someone I met on-line ...although, perhaps that isn't the best proof that I'm not going to rip a hole in it. Whatever. But, I am going to say that, for me, right now in my life, I have no desire to do it.
I think part of my willingness to get back on-line was that I am seriously so busy that I just don't have time to meet new people, unless we happen to cross paths through work (not likely since most all of the men with whom I work are married) or school (being that I live in a predominantly LDS community, most of the guys that I would consider old enough to date are also married). I really don't have time to make the effort, you know, to go out of my way to be flirtatious, etc. And the truth is that, while there are guys I am interested in now and again, guys that I would like to date should they ask me out, I don't feel like I'm missing anything right now. And I've finally stopped worrying about whether or not I will ever get married. Nothing breeds regrets of the past like worries of the future, so I've stopped.
Well, after my friend decided to get back on-line , I started thinking. Maybe not caring is not super healthy. Maybe I should care. Maybe I should be actively seeking a relationship. So back on-line I went. I was hopeful, because, even though I may not appear this way on the surface, deep down (way, way down, hidden in the depths of my soul) I am chronically and painfully optimistic. The problem with optimism
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