Building a relationship with your step child(ren) can be easier than "society" says it is. As a step-mother of three children and having two of my own, I've learned that having love, compassion and understanding is very important.

Is it enough?

No, being a step parent is work, commitment and partnership with the biological parents, both mom and dad. Accepting this new adventure as a package deal will take you miles into the sucess of parenting.

There are a few key elements I believe to being a successful step parent and building the relationship with your step child:

1. "Take the STEP out of child"

2. Remember, a child is born out of his or her control. All children want to be loved (even if they are a teenager, from a disturbed household etc).

3. Place yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if you had a new parent that wasn't your biological parent?

4. Don't pretend to be their best friend, just be there for them without the putting pressure on them to like you.

5. Never, Ever, Ever bad mouth the other parents in front of the child (if you can refrain, never is very healthy for your own sanity)

6. Rid yourself of any jealousy that you may feel. This could be from fearing your partner spends more time with your step children then you, or that the step child may love his real mother/father more. "It's Normal".

6. Most importantly, if anything.... remember to listen, laugh, play and enjoy their time, just as you would if it were your own biological child.

Children in blended households often feel left out, second best, or not loved. Its important to spend quality time with "each" child (your's or not). Set aside time for date nights. Perhaps a group family movie night on Fridays. This gives "every" child the opportunity to relate to parents, step siblings and be a part of the family they so want to be accepted by.

Perhaps, God created children to remind all of us of the innocence in life, to open our eyes, hearts and minds, and to love no matter the reason.

Life is an adventure.

Learn more about this author, Renee Stark.
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