Advert Jokes:

Rabbit for sale, white with pink painted dots on, two glued on wings, one blind eye, two legs / one wooden, half an ear, three teeth, pinned on tail. Hops in a circle and barks like a dog. It doesn't eat much and is a perfect first pet, in perfect health
Cost $1.50, will sell this unique animal for a knock down price of $30,000,000,000 excluding delivery. Selling due to getting a three legged donkey

Television for sale, 30 years old, no picture, cracked screen, buttons have fallen off, scratched in places, no leads or remote, components inside have been burnt out, but in overall good condition, comes with free TV guide. $50,000 due to uniqueness

Cup for sale: chipped and cracked in most places, stained inside, no handle, fell into a sewer but is overall perfectly fine. $40,000,000 due to a person who had the name Jesus touched the cup and said it is the new Holy Grail. Excluding delivery.

A real singing toad for sale; has Elvis hairstyle, white tracksuit, black shades, sings opera and Christina Aguilera songs. $25,000 due to being a superstar and unable to keep up with depend of audience. Eddy the Toad needs a real singing manager; he is the next big thing. His latest album, Eddie the Toad; its lonely tonight in the swamp, has sold many records. He was meant to be on Pop Idol and the X Factor but had a throat infection. Is perfectly fine now

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