by Julie Bell

Created on: July 25, 2007   Last Updated: October 28, 2008

This is your "Cheat Sheet" for Fathers!

She's about to have the baby, and you haven't had time to plough through the plethora of books, articles & stuff off the internet. Birth videos make you want to leave the room and you wonder how much of what they said at the pre-natal classes you'll remember in the heat of the moment.

Got it. I understand. It's a lot to take in. You just want the facts, plain and simple. So here it is. If you've already read pages and pages on the subject, good on you: it's like any venture sailing a boat, raising alpacas, building a house the more research you do to begin with, the better off you are when it comes to actually doing it. But if you've had no time or inclination to do more than dip into all those birth books that kept appearing her bedside table, now's your chance for a last minute cram.

Why Your Role is Significant and Irreplaceable:

Your role is important. Very likely, no one knows this woman and loves her like you do. The intimacy, trust and communication you've been building with her since you met her will hold you in good stead during the birth. No one else can give her what she needs from you.

You made this baby together. You can bring this baby safely into the world together.

Just be yourself. Just your presence, being right there with her, knowing that you love her, makes a tremendous difference.

Take risks. You already know this, right? A huge part of relationships is taking risks. So, don't be afraid to show her affection, even more than you usually do. Sometimes she won't even notice (when she is in deep concentration). Sometimes it might not feel right and she might bat you away. Doesn't matter. Goes with the territory. Don't take it personally try something else or try again later.

Emotional Factors to Bear in Mind: Trust her instinct. She has natural wisdom within her that knows what she needs to do to birth this baby.

Trust your instinct, too. Men often have great instincts and sense instinctively what is bothering their partner, and what she most wants and needs at each stage.

You don't have to be her coach. You don't have to tell her what to do when. Just love her, and be there for her. She will be listening to her body, and her instinct will guide her, as long as she doesn't have others putting a damper her instinct by presuming to tell her how to give birth. It is something she does herself. Your unconditional support will mean most.

Encouragement is like gold in labour. You'll have your own style. Now's the

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