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Its just not a realistic consequence. The real solution is to remove a child from the situation, take a moment and talk to them. There is no time limit that can be put on problem solving and no child can do this on their own, in a corner.

In school I spent a great deal of time in that corner. Taking you back up to twenty years now, I hated it. I was teased a lot, lashed out and hit other children when they teased me.

If I were the teacher I would have asked me why I acted out, and had a meeting with the other children and perhaps the parents if the situation persisted. Instead they just took the "bad" kid and stuck me in a corner. Sweep the dust under the rug, let the issues unsolved, build up and risk having another Columbine at the rate I was going.

When a child is misbehaving there is a reason, no child is a bad child. We just need to spend time understanding their different and sensitive needs rather than pushing them aside and wasting valuable problem solving opportunities.

The child who is often placed in a time out learns one thing. To count down. As soon as the time out is done there are no lasting effects, nothing is learned. Time is wasted.

My almost three year old has never had a time out, when she does something we talk. When she is upset she cools down on her own before talking about it. I pay attention to her needs and I'm there to make sure I understand why she did what she did, and how I can help her make better choices in the future.

When we get to the real world, no one is going to tell us we are bad and we should go sit in a corner, we have consequences to our actions. In childhood our caregivers role should be to teach us how to avoid consequence by taking positive action, building communication and coping skills.

Time out, is time wasted.

Learn more about this author, Rycharde Angel.
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