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You decide to go out for a night on the town with "The Guys", already sound like trouble to me. Of course this involves getting drunk, so here is how it usually goes.

STAGE 1. After your first 1-2 drinks you become "smart" whomever decides to engage conversation with you better watch out because you have just now gained knowledge about every topic known to mankind, and you will defend your case to the end. Its a funny conversation to listen into when both parties deep in conversation are on stage 1.

STAGE 2. Now you are really starting to feel your buzz, you take a quick glance at your reflection and my God. You discover that you are the best looking guy in the entire bar! You are so damn good looking you feel free to approach and girl in the bar with confidence, and not only that you are still smart as hell so making good conversation is definitely not a problem.

STAGE 3. This is the stage we all hate and try to move to stage 4 as fast as possible. At stage 3 you have for some reason come to believe you are "rich" and feel the need to buys drinks for everyone you have ever known, women you have been making great conversation with or you have caught eying you because you are so good looking. You can also make bets with people because you are still smart and of course you will win, and if you somehow lose who cares you're rich!

STAGE 4. Approaching the end of the night and officially drunk. You become bullet proof, and can take on any guy in the bar, and the bouncers if need be! Big Mike's girlfriend is pretty cute? go take her! He wont see the 5 foot five fists of fury coming, and you're smarter, better looking, and richer than he is, whats not to like?

STAGE 5. You wake up in the morning sitting on your best friends couch and wonder to yourself. "where are my pants?"

Learn more about this author, Matt Anderson.
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