by Ted Sherman

Created on: July 22, 2007   Last Updated: January 24, 2012

HUMOR:

Most people, including poker experts, don't know that each poker word or phrase also has at least two meanings. You don't believe me? It's absolutely true, and you heard it here first. There are probably a thousand poker terms, but I'll only choose a couple dozen of the most colorful and meaningful ones, just to prove my theory:

Ace high: The most valuable card in the deck OR that fighter pilot is really up there at 50,000 feet OR that fighter pilot or pro baseball player must be taking something to make him soar up there.

Aces over queens: Two pair OR you really don't want to hear the other description.

All blue: a flush; all the cards in your hand are either clubs or spades OR how you feel when you leave the poker player broke.

All pink : a flush; all the cards in your hand are either diamonds or hearts OR does Britney have to sit next to me in that short, short skirt?

Ante: the money you put on the table to get into the game OR the person my uncle married.

Back at you : what you say when you reraise another player's raise OR and I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, Toto, too.

Bluff : a bet you make to intimidate other players OR the part of the mountain you jump from after losing OR a kids' game played with a blind man.

Buy in: the casino's charge to each attending poker player OR if you have to ask how much, you can't afford it.

Cards speak: the winning hand when all cards are face up the end of a hand OR if you hold a card up real close to your ear, and it talks to you, you're in real trouble.

Cash in your chips: to leave the game and take your money with you OR the last moment of your life if you do it while playing with Mafia guys who've been losing.

Check your hand: you pass on your turn to bet OR you admit you're an idiot who just started playing poker yesterday.

Check and raise: you check, then raise the pot when it's your turn again OR saying you guys thought I was an idiot and now this proves it.

Community cards : The face-up ones on the table that count for all hands OR how the ancient poker game of spit in the ocean evolved into the very popular and much hated Texas hold'em.

Cut the cards: the dealer or player divides the deck into two sections OR what's that guy doing with that meat cleaver?

Dead man's hand: two pairs, aces and eights OR what you'll have two of if the rest of the players catch you cheating.

Deal: start the game by giving out the cards OR what you try to get from the judge after you're caught running an illegal

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