8 of 14

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

system.

Powerful Incentive
Intimacy is therefore not negotiable. It can be both a powerful incentive and a deterrent to becoming deeply sexual with the partner you know you will eventually lose. In a culture that denies death, it also takes a lot of courage to love a partner for life and wish to be closely bonded with them when you are acutely aware that you could lose them at any time. But sexual bonding is important for partners to remain faithful to one another. In the absence of a satisfactory sex life, some research suggests that a poor marriage is often associated with unfaithfulness.

In the latest research in the UK, for example, 84 per cent of men and 56 per cent of women claimed to have had an affair in the past year. With the Internet and the mobile phone at the ready, the field is wide open for clandestine meetings and satisfying sexual needs. In this respect, men appear to seek casual sex and have more outside partners, while women seek emotional attachment and have fewer partners. Working outside the home and having their own income also increase the chances of affairs for women, a situation which has dramatically increased the percentage of women having relationships with people other than their spouses.

As we can see, incompatibility in sex is thus the final invisible force which can destroy relationships, and not the sex itself. It really is about how matched we are and how long that compatibility lasts. If sex has just become really boring between you, to keep your partner's attention you need to spice it up and make a production out of it. Stop being a slob in front of the television, or using outings with the lads or ladies as an excuse. At least once each week, go out to dinner, go dancing, go to a comedy club, or whatever you like. It is entirely up to you. But you must do something different! Nothing kills intimacy more than predictability and sameness. Enjoy an evening with the clear intention of being seductively romantic and then coming home with plenty of time to make love.

At other times when you are at home, try having sex in different places or at different times, perhaps in the morning or right after exercising. Give each other a bath and/or full body massages. Read together, perhaps a book of love poems, or even one on sexual techniques, then talk and talk as required, about your sexual enjoyment and how that can be increased. Talk until words are no longer necessary and action takes over. Sex is the greatest gift of your life. Don't worry about it or ponder upon it. Simply learn to enjoy it.

Learn more about this author, Elaine Sihera.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about The health benefits of sex?
We want to hear your view. Write now!