by Elaine Sihera

Created on: July 22, 2007

Differing Gender Approaches to Better Sex

Both parties in any relationship, especially when the couples are older, bring a long sexual history, different instincts and preconceptions to the overall sexual experience. One partner may have masturbated almost daily since he first discovered his body and had fantasies of having intercourse with many different people. He might also have heard various stories about sex from friends, movies, parents, teachers, books etc., while the other partner may have been more sheltered and ignorant, or perhaps just stroked herself curiously without any sexual fantasies. Taken together, it means the likelihood of a big difference in self-knowledge and sexual confidence between any one couple.

According to one male writer, "Most inexperienced males imagine that really good sex consists of getting the woman partly undressed and then thrusting an enormous penis in and out of her vagina until they both explode simultaneously with a fantastic orgasm." But nothing could be further from the truth. The fantasy ends there because of the many hurdles awaiting us before that final conclusion. Being preoccupied with penis size, many men believe that the bigger the better'. But that is a definite myth.

Really great sex is not about penetration or penis size. It is more about what a man actually does with that penis when both partners are fully aroused. Our brain and our hands are far more erotic sexual tools than a penis on its own could ever hope to be! In fact, an inexperienced young woman is unlikely to be turned on by a penis at all and even less by its size! Until she understands and appreciates its usefulness, she may be scared of touching it and might even be repulsed by it, even though the man is likely to think that his penis is the greatest thing in the world, one which no woman can possibly do without!

Romance and the Trimmings
A woman is likely to be more stimulated by the emotion of the moment, the romance, the attention, the kisses, the caresses, the feeling of being wanted and being greatly appealing difficult elements to label or put into words. Most women interviewed insist that warm, loving, emotional connections between themselves and their partners are essential to, and inseparable from, the experience of sexual ecstasy. Thus a well-romanced woman is a well-lubricated one and an explosion waiting to happen! This difference in sexual approach is the first misunderstanding between the two genders.

For this main reason, the first

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