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He remembered the sharp pain in his chest. From there, everything turned into a black swirl of silence. Still, in that darkness, he dreamed a mysterious memory of her and how their relationship had turned in so many different directions. He started hanging out in the bar where she worked. One day she sat down with him at his 'regular' table and asked, "So, you wouldn't happen to have a lake cottage, would you? I thought I'd invite myself up for a week end." He'd been trying to get her to go out with him for over a year, and this casual, off-the-cuff remark startled him. His cousin had a lake cottage for sale, and he impulsively bought it. She never accepted any of his countless invitations to come up, and bring her four kids along. At the end of the summer, he sold the cottage back to his cousin, deciding he didn't want to bother with it anymore if she wasn't going to avail herself of its use.

His dream reminisced about how their affair quickly progressed from meeting for a drink to sneaking back to her house in the middle of the night while her husband and kids were sleeping. After the husband and kids left for the day, things would get hot and heavy. He'd been 'away' from his wife for over ten years, rarely even sleeping in the same room. Five ago, he walked out on the marriage but never bothered with legal separation or divorce proceedings. Filled with contempt for his own flaws and inadequacies, his dreams brought him back to those times when they'd be alone together and he would be unable to perform. He knew it left her frustrated and he knew she'd never leave her husband or her kids, at least not for some impotent dude nineteen years her senior. But he loved her.....he deeply loved her.

She was graceful, coy, witty, charming, sexy, sultry, and an enigma. After that first year of fumbled, clumsy, disappointing lovemaking, it ended as abruptly as it had begun. But she still called him every night. And they'd talk for hours. His dream recalled how she would end every conversation with four words: "I love you, Honey." His response would always be, "I love you, too." In his dream, he assumed what he'd always assumed in the privacy of his own thoughts: she did love him, but she just couldn't tolerate the disappointment and frustration of his insufficient, ineffectual lovemaking. He dreamed of how they would dance, and she would cry, and he would comfort her, and they would fall asleep in each other's arms after the kids went to school and the husband

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