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Poetry: Remembering rape

I don't so much remember it as relive it anytime I'm about to be intimate
Since then I've had to adapt my actions
This was not some random act of violence, but a forceful invasion of my trust
By a friend
By a lover
By a man who may have baracaded my privacy indefinately
He
Grabbed me and I felt like a slave girl being violated
He threw me on the bed and I was still confused
And in the dark
He let me know about the gun under the pillow by slamming my head in it
I cried without tears, I panicked and breathed harder than I had before
He liked it
I hated myself for getting trapped in this situation
And to this day I hide my face when I walk past the building
Please explain it to me

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Poetry: Remembering rape

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