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On the big day I grabbed his hand to put the ring on it and shouted out loud,"Which finger?!" Once I got past that, we have had a wonderful relationship for thirty years.
It's like the relationship between Jessica and Roger Rabbit in the Disney movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?""He makes me laugh",she says.
I think the one thing that has and will always hold us together is the fact that our funny bones come from the same skeleton. I start a sentence, he finishes. I start a silly rant, he adds to it, and it comes back to me,and I continue on.
Being of the same political bent is convenient, but he is more conservative than I.I know of a acquaintance that strung her dreams on the opposite political branch, and in
a tornadic relationship the branch fell off, marriage ended.
Feeling the same way about money, is of course a high priority. There is no more his, mine and ours. You might think so, but when one becomes jealous of the other's "mine", the boat gets rocked a bit. If the boat can stay stable by choosing compromise instead of jealousy,great.
On the matter of the in laws one must be together on this hot topic as well. What does your heart say that the world would say if the family secret were known? That is where the truth lies between the two of you. If in the light of the real world the secret is stupid, then it is stupid. Or substitute the word "situation" for secret and you see what I mean.
There should be sameness and at the same time differentness. We both like chicken, he loves fried, me grilled. And we are OK with the differences, we honor them.In honoring them we state that we know our partners likes and dislikes and they are OK with us.
One thing we do know is when a topic is dead it is dead. So now the "beyond the big day" has been addressed, I hope the above insights help.

Learn more about this author, Janet Matthews.
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