There's nothing quite like being a 20 something single and living in a world that perpetuates marriage as the end all be all of happiness. Not to mention everyone I know is engaged, married, or married and pregnant/recently removed the bun from the oven. It seems as if all around me I'm being told not to be single.

And for a long time my single life caused me grief. I wondered if I was desirable, going so far as to think about what was wrong with me. I constantly compared myself to the girls who had guys, and wondered what they had that I didn't, besides, of course, the man. I placed my happiness and worth in the fact that I was single, and that I had never had a boyfriend.

I have grown more in the realization that there is nothing wrong with me, and that I would rather be single, waiting for the right guy, then go through a myriad of break-ups, only to get more discouraged because no guy wanted to keep me.

So I have decided that while I have it, singleness is happiness.

I am free to travel without worrying about what distance will do to my relationship.

I don't have to think whether this is the one, and if it is, how we're going to have to live in a cardboard box the rest of our lives just so we can afford to pay off both of our student loans.

I can wear my hair in a ponytail every day if I like, without worrying whether or not this is the hair style he likes the most.

I don't have to choose between alone time with my guy, and a night out with my girlfriends.

I save time and money not having to IM, Text, Phone, or Skype him.

I am able to grow as an independent woman, who knows what she wants, and when she finds him, will know.

I am able to grow more in my relationship with God, the true lover of my life, without having to have Him compete with my guy.

Besides, happiness is a state of mind and being. If you're single and not happy, it's not because you're single, it's because you've made up your mind to be a miserable person and singleness is where you're putting your blame. Besides, if you can only be happy when you have a partner, then I would suspect you must not like yourself very much, in which case, you should probably be spending more time alone so that you can not just like yourself, but love yourself. I've always thought the least romantic thing anyone could say to me (a la Jerry Maguire) is "you complete me". No. You should be complete all on your own. And that completeness is pure bliss.

Learn more about this author, Dorina Brown.
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