by Eileen Hughes

Created on: July 18, 2007

How to do an effective adoption search

When an adopted child learns of his/her adoption, then he/she has the final say as to whether they search for their biological parents. The biological parents also have a say as to whether they want their child to contact them. Therefore, if one party disagrees to the reunion then, it does not take place.

As adoptive parents, we made the choice of telling our son the truth. We told him from day one, even though he was too young to understand. We explained to him that we chose him; he was our special little boy. Whereby, some parents decide not to tell their child, which can lead to terrible repercussions, especially if other family members know the truth. Children can be cruel and often listen to conversations not meant for their ears. On learning this type of information, they would have great pleasure in passing this on to anyone who will listen.

We kept our sons adoption papers and his birth certificate in a safe until he was old enough to make his own decision. We gave these to him years ago, although he has never been interested in finding his biological parents. In fact, he gave the papers back to us for safekeeping, saying, you are my parents as far as I am concerned.

The biological parent's names are recorded on the adoption papers, and the date and place of birth. His birth certificate shows the adopted parents names, as his parents. With this information, you can now follow up the search for the biological parents.

There are many ways to search for the birth-mother. One is to do an on line search. Family search is a good place to start. www.familysearch.org/

FreeBMD is a good place to look for Births, Death, and Marriages, and could be helpful if you know your biological parents names. http://freebmd.rootsweb.com/cgi/search.pl

On the other hand, try searching with Google or Yahoo web browser. If you have dates, names, and a possible area of residence, then there are many phone directories to look through. This is more prevalent if you know the fathers name; whereas the mother may have since married, therefore there will be no record of her listed. It will depend how far back you are going regarding the adoption. You may need to go to the libraries and look in very old phone directories.

Do you know where either of the parents went to school? With so many school reunions happening these days, you may find a connection that way.

Contact the state adoption agency, or join an adoption mailing list. However you search, do not give up until you achieve success.

Then hope, for a happy reunion. This is a web link to one of those successful adoption stories.
http://www.telusplanet.net/public/grubb2/ind ex.htm#Sean's%20Reunion%20Experience

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