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Are arranged marriages a good tradition or an outdated notion?

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Outdated
79% 597 votes Total: 755 votes
Good
21% 158 votes

People in general tend to disparage arranged marriages saying a lot of unpleasant things about this tradition. There is nothing bad about arranged marriages even in todays world. By arranged marriage, I am referring to a marriage where individuals are brought together through another media - friend, relative, colleague, matrimonial advertisement, internet matching portal or even a dating portal.

Let us look back and see how this tradition emerged. Years ago men and women did not mix up as freely as they do today. At that time bachelors spent most of their time with other men. Whether they were indoors or outdoors, men spent most of their time in the company of men only. (Remember there was no concept of gay and hence nobody thought this as unnatural). The same happened with spinsters as well who spent most of their time with other married or unmarried ladies of the house. Even if they moved out of the house they would do so either in the company of the ladies or were escorted by their father or brother. So when the men or women came of marriageable age they hardly knew anybody from the opposite gender. That is the time when marriage proposals were put forward through friends and relatives. This worked quite well for generations together, although the reasons are perhaps all different.

Now let us look at the present scenario. Most boys and girls marrying today know their wives and husbands, respectively, for quite some time before marriage. Infact some boys and girls are together since their child-care, primary school, high-school or college days. So with boys and girls being thrown around together it is natural that they develop feelings towards each other. Not all of them culminate in marriage but some do. Naturally these people do not need arranged marriages but what about those who do not find anybody suitable?

It is unfair to say that people who have not found their right partner in 22+ or whatever years and will never find one in future as well. Also it is unfair to think that they will not enter into lasting relationships apart from the occassional date or affair. For such people arranged marriage is a boon. Infact people think that only unsuccessful people get married through arrangement. But tell me something, just because one person has found his or her partner does not mean that everybody else will also be successful. Besides, it is not mandatory for every man or woman to mandatorily fall in love with another woman or man. People say that in a marriage it is important to know each other and to understand each other etc. etc. To them my question if that be the case then why are marriages failing where the couples have known each for long? People who look down upon arranged marriages should ask why marriages are unsuccessful for people who get married on their own, i.e. without an arranged marriage?

Marriage is said to be a union of two individuals, union of two minds whose thoughts are aligned and care about each other so that they want to stay together. So it is understandable if a person did not find anybody suitable in their school, college or later days then they can opt for arranged marriage and meet up with other individuals who are in a similar situation and are also looking for a suitable partner.

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Are arranged marriages a good tradition or an outdated notion?

Good
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    I say good, but there is a caveat. If a person is from a strong cultural background, especially in a more traditiona...read more

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Outdated
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    In a society where "personal choice" seems to be one of the more important aspects of life, it seems foreign to most ...read more

  • 2 of 38

    by Randy Scott

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