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When my daughter turned 3 I breathed a tremendous sigh of relief. We had made it, we had avoided the terrible twos! I was thrilled. My daughter is polite, considerate, well-mannered and sweet (if I do say so myself)! She turned 3 and I realized she is also her own person with her own ideas and choices and she began to make that very clear. She began to "assert her independence" shortly after her 3rd birthday.

90% of the time I am thrilled to see her learning and becoming more independent. She has mastered many new things and has become my big girl. Unfortunately with all this newfound freedom, there are going to be issues. Temper Tantrums are a big one. They just aren't tolerated at my house. That probably sounds kind of harsh doesn't it? I've found that it really isn't, and that most tantrums can be avoided completely by doing certain things. I'm sure they won't work for everyone, but some of the things that have worked are:

*Communicate with your child. Sometimes, simply asking why they are so upset works wonders. I have found that many times she is frustrated by something I never would have though of, and it's usually something so simple to remedy.

*Sticking to a routine. Children thrive on it, and when their schedule is upset they get fussy, cranky and irritable. Our lives aren't run by a timetable, don't get me wrong, but we stick to a basic set up and it works for us.

*Chose your battles. This is a big one. I realized this after 3 days of toddler meltdown. If it isn't important to you, don't let it become important. Let it go. The perfect example is when my daughter doesn't want to get dressed. If we aren't going anywhere all day, and she doesn't want to get out of her pj's, then what harm does it do for her to stay in them?

*Offer choices. If your child choses what they are doing, then they won't be upset about it because they made the decision. For lunch today I asked my daughter if she wanted a PB&J or a tuna fish sandwich. She chose the tuna fish to my amazement. If I had just given it to her she probably wouldn't have touched it. *An extra hint* ALWAYS ask if they want it cut in triangles or squares!

*When faced with an inevitable, don't just drop it in their laps and expect them to deal with it. Bedtime comes every night, and as adults we realize that. But if your child has an 8 o'clock bedtime, let them know that at 7:30. It gives them time to prepare.

*Leave them alone. No, I don't mean lock the door and run screaming for the neighbors house hoping they

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