I have 3 children ranging in age from 5 to 12 ("almost 13," he'd say). While I do not claim to be the "perfect parent" (and who is?), I have received compliments on how well behaved my children are. In my opinion, they are successful children, but that did not come without mistakes made. I have my own suggestions, some being from successful strategies I've used and some from mistakes I made along the way.

1) Your children should always be FIRST. That does not mean that they have to be the center of the universe because that makes them entitled. However, what that does mean is putting your own selfish desires on hold at times. I can't tell you how many children I've met whose lives were turned upside down because the parents weren't putting them first. For instance, my 7 year old niece is in a state of turmoil because her father decided he was done with a marriage and had an affair that is more important to him than spending time with her and her mother is too focused on her bitterness to realize that her comments hurt her daughter. We're all human; we all have desires, but we need to consider our children.

2) Focus on your child's STRENGTHS, not their weaknesses. I admit it-I had trouble with this one, especially with my oldest. I was constantly comparing him to other kids-why wasn't he walking/talking/outgoing/you name it? I truly think his self-confidence took a beating because I was always worried about his flaws. I think my wakeup call was when he went to kindergarten. The teacher asked me what I thought his strengths were and I couldn't think of one strength. It was embarrassing and devastating. I'd spent so much time on my worries that I never stopped to consider what it was doing to him. I've since changed that approach, and although he is a typical grouchy pre-teen at times, I can definitely name many of his strengths.

3)Get them involved in something. Cub/Boy Scouts has been a God-send for improving my oldest's self-esteem. Both my older son and my daughter have been involved in organized sports for years and now my youngest has begun to play T-ball and soccer at the local YMCA. It doesn't have to be an organization that costs money-schools have chorus or after school clubs. My husband helped run an economics game at my daughter's school, which met after school on Wednesdays. My daughter's economics team even won 2nd place in the region and got to attend an awards banquet. Churches have choirs, youth groups, etc. The

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