by Jennifer Burress

Created on: July 17, 2007

First-time mommies, as a general rule, are spazzy, emotionally tender creatures. I know this because I am a first-time mommy. I waited 31 years to take the plunge and try for my much-wanted baby, and my husband almost didn't make it through the pregnancy in one piece. Sappy TV commercials made me cry, and the slightest, most innocent glance could send me into an hour-long tirade. This being said, it's my belief that, while it's important to know facts, sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing when it comes to knowing/finding out about problems.

I started out having a textbook pregnancy-things couldn't have been more perfect, as far as pregnancy milestones (and, unfortunately, morning sickness) were concerned. And then, my obstetrician suggested that I have the "triple screen" testing done. The triple screen is a very simple, very uncomplicated test during which blood is drawn from the mommy to check the developing baby for potential genetic and chromosomal problems. My whole pregnancy outlook changed the day I got the call from the doctor that my test levels came back "not quite right." I knew what that meant, since the doctor had stressed to me during the phone call the possible ramifications of my results. So I stressed. I worried. I prayed. I screamed and cried for my unborn child. I spent the rest of my pregnancy in a state of high anxiety, knowing that I shouldn't dwell on the possible negatives, but fearful to get my hopes up that things were fine.

One thing that I kept in mind during this whole ordeal was a saying that I had heard as a young girl. "God don't make no mistakes." (Disclaimer: Of course, this is subject to your believing in God or any other type of Higher Power.) During the course of my seemingly-ceaseless praying, I was reminded time and time again that everything would turn out as it should and that it wasn't conditional upon what the doctor's tests told me. So true and so profound, but it didn't stop the utterly human (and very female) side of me from worrying. And worry I did, every waking hour of the day and sometimes when I slept, as well. And the mental aspects soon began to manifest in physical problems.

But, despite a scary pregnancy, extremely high blood pressure, and baby boy's cord wrapped around his neck at birth, I wound up with an amazingly perfect and beautiful child. Never again, should I become pregnant with another child, will I ever entertain the idea of screening for problems. The worry and stress nearly killed me...and my child. I'll take my chances from here on out and rejoice in the gift, in whatever form, given to me.

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