In-law - the odd word used for meshing families. It's amazing how one word can mean so many different things for people depending on their situation.

I am married and I love my husband's parents. (He has a sibling that has cut himself off from the family over in-law issues involving his wife ironically. But for lack of communications, I don't even know what they are like.) I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. It's a perfect give and take of love, understanding, and help.

On the flip side of that, I am one of four kids. I have a brother who is married and one that is recently engaged, and another still single but been with the girl for 3 years. My brother's wife (my sister-in-law)started off as what seemed the perfect in-law. She seem to really fit with our family and set the bar high for those yet to come into our family...and then it happened...she turned and now her and the future in-law have created the Anti-family Team. Individually, they are seemingly nice, but they tag team to get their ways, whether it is to change our family traditions or complain about the way we are. When the entire family is together, the looks between them are annoying. They never say a word to each other, but they have no problem of making notes of things by a look. I live 150 miles away, but I go visit to bite my tongue, and come back home to let it heal just in time to have to go back. I've gotten to the point where I just almost can't stand it! My family recognizes the issues and we try to defuse the situation as they arise.

I just have to wonder though what gives people the right? I understand it's a give and take, but not take and take. The in-law situation is something I took very seriously when I chose my mate. I have to wonder and advise to those getting married to remember that when they pick their mate, to realize it's a package deal. In-laws have the power to make or break a marriage and unfortunately even tear a family apart. Make sure you know what you are getting into. And realize that you too are an in-law and be considerate of the family you are joining. Family is a powerful thing and awesome to have in your corner. A family, even with in-laws, is much better united!

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