THE RELATIONSHIP CONNECTION

Two teachers were talking in the hall sharing information about some of their more challenging students. "I don't know," said one teacher "I have tried everything with Tom and nothing works." Behavior modification, extra gym time, phone calls home, parent conferences, restrictions and rewards, it almost seems useless." The other teacher responded, "Tom, he is one of my better student's. I have very little difficulty with him at all."

This sounds like a familiar scenario. But, why is it that some teachers have all kinds of problems with one student while others who have the same student have little or no trouble at all. In order to completely understand this problem it is helpful if we understand the how our brain is wired. If we were to take a cross section of the brain we would discover that the top part of the brain is where we do most of our higher order thinking and where we process information. Understand that I am trying to draw a very basic picture for you. The middle part of the brain called the limbic system is where our emotions are located. Our mind and will would be located there. The bottom part of the brain, the stem is where we go for survival. When we are under emotional stress our first response is to survive. The two basic methods for survival are to either attack or to escape. In getting a visual image of what we are talking about the one thing you will notice is that all incoming information has to go through the emotions in order to be processed.

So, if I were to say to you "When are you going to get this information right?" "I am so sick and tired of explaining this to you what are you dense or something?" Your natural tendency is to survive and you emotionally will either escape or attack. As a matter of information children and adults who escape usually have clinical problems and are your students who are constantly late, sleep at the desk, chronically absent and ultimately have substance problems. These students need to be watched carefully. In education the squeaky wheel gets the grease. We may not even be aware of these students until an event occurs that is catastrophic in nature such as suicide or even worse a violent incidence that could impact lives for generations to come. Students who have the attack mentality are more argumentative, disrespectful, and non-compliant. They are always in school and are looking for a victim that they can take their anger out on. It usually turns

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