The reality in dating is that most people - men and women - have unrealistic expectations because they pre-create a fantasy of what that "perfect" person should be like. Some of this is caused by media hype, some by movies and by what we have been taught is the perfect mate.

The first reality is that there is no perfect. The second reality is that to pre-create your "perfect" person is not realistic. The third is that one person's perfect is not the same as any other person's perfect.

For a woman to state that she wants a blond, athletic man with dimples and a great sense of humor who likes museums, the theatre and skiing and who makes over $x per year is limiting and unrealistic. The same is true of the man who only wants a college graduate, buxom redhead who can cook fantastic Italian food and who don't want children.

With these unrealistic criteria set they are going to find it hard to fulfill their expectations. If they just leave themselves open to finding what kind of a connection they make with another then she may find that Mr. blond, athletic with dimples and a great sense of humor is actually that fella with brown hair and no dimples who has never been to a museum but would love to go and would enjoys it. Likewise, he may find that the brunette who didn't go to college is actually quite smart, and while she can't cook would love to learn.

By predetermining who or what a "perfect" mate should be one is definitely being unrealistic in their expectations and will be disappointed a lot in life before they meet their special person...who probably won't have most of the attributes on their "perfect" person list anyway.

Learn more about this author, Dakota Devlin.
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