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it. All you need do is cultivate the ability to appear needy, heart rending and just a little obnoxious if the situation warrants when charity is not uppermost in the minds of your would-be benefactors hurrying down the streets on their way to those boring, time consuming ruts you've been clever enough to avoid.

Work smart not hard teach your kids the business. Send them onto the streets you never allowed them to play near when you were tied down to a mortgage or rent. They can stroll along the curb and look for loose change. After all, they are closer to the ground and all that bending does tend to get to be a bit tiresome after a while when you're having trouble just standing up straight.

Pennies add up just like the old cliche says. If you watch for pennies they'll soon turn into dollars. There's very little for the price of a penny these days though. Thank you lucky stars for that. Penny candy would just rot your children's teeth and spoil their dumpster dinner. Save your pennies for those cold days ahead when your options are fewer and wanderlust beckons.

My favorite way to support the nasty habit of eating a monkey on my back I'll never be able to get rid of was to sell blood plasma to the local donor center three or four times a week. That $15 or $20 every other day or so adds up to a tidy sum when you sit down and think about it. Since plasma centers don't take children you'll have to keep this source of income all to yourself. Can't let the kids have all the fun.

My favorite time when donating was after donating my bodily fluids. The first beer after your tour of duty on the comfortable plastic lounge in the donor center just hits the spot. It numbs your stomach and your brain and replenishes the fluids you've sacrificed to your addiction for food. It also costs less than a square meal.

If you're averse to the benefits of hops, water, sugar and the fermentation process there's always a free fountain full of icy water in every big office building's lobby. What more could you want? It'll also help fill your stomach to stop it's everlasting complaining. That rumbling noise can be so nerve wracking, especially when it's coming from your stomach.

Balancing all your creature comforts won't be too difficult if your children have done their parts. You can live like a king in the spring, summer and early fall and profit from the healthful atmosphere of the wide open spaces when it's warm and dry. But don't sell rainy days short because they help create the pitiful

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