Homeless Advantage

No responsibility. No time clocks to punch. No ruts to faithfully pace day after day after day. It's a dream come true. It's what we all wished for every year as we blew out the candles on each birthday cake, and now it's ours to live day after day after day. Bums do it. Winos do it. Even the mentally ill do it since the state facilities set them free to get their piece of America's dream. Now middle class men, women and children can do it, too.

Ah, America, land of opportunity, freedom and, if the Bill of Rights is nonfiction, we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We all have the right to choose even if the choice is being homeless.

Being homeless can be a lot of fun if you handle it in just the right way. It's all a matter of choice. Try to make sure you do it in the right city, though. Some cities offer no real opportunities or enough choices to make an informed decision.

Charitable organizations in some cities off you free food, of a rather bland and predictable nature, or you can choose dumpster diving as a change of fare du jour. Let your palate be your guide.

If you're prone to ulcers, the blander menu would be better for you. Your children can always dive for snacks before bed to satisfy their preference for fast food. There's nothing faster. It's a matter of taste.

They can wallow in food and have all the condiments right at their fingertips, nose, mouth and many other places that food hasn't had a chance to get near since they were babies learning to eat with forks and spoons.

Forks, knives and spoons are optional unless you still have a family heirloom of white plastic laying loose somewhere. If you're watchful and lucky you might even find a few in among your food. What a bonus! No restaurant ever offered you more for your money.

You can join your children and enjoy a little quality time together. But if you were really honest with yourself you'd admit that you like a little junk food now and again. Where else can you go for real junk food?

Dumpster diving doesn't have to be your sole option, nor does the bland, tasteless fare from missions or free hostels. Keep in mind that even the most unpalatable stodge is far superior to the cramping complaints of a stomach on a strict diet. You could take time for your open schedule to earn a bit of pocket change to buy a few inexpensive tidbits to supplement your tightly varied meals.

Earning money need not put too big a crimp in

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