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I lost my best friend to suicide.

There are so many days when I wish I could go back in time and stop it. When I look back, I can clearly see all the important warning signs. In retrospect it always seems so easy - like all the pieces of a puzzle coming together to meet on that fateful day he killed himself. It's never that easy in reality though. Even though you know they are going through a difficult time, you just don't want to believe that something like that is even possible.

I know it's wrong, but I still tell myself that perhaps if I knew today what I knew then, I could have done more to help.

Having experienced it first-hand and thoroughly researched and talked with others, here is what I believe is the most important thing to look for:

*An abrupt change that tells you as a friend that something just seems out of place*

Once the person has made some kind of decision towards suicide they usually will act very different.

Maybe they are being extra nice when they are usually down and frustrated?
Maybe you notice that the usual things that bother them just don't bother them anymore?
Maybe you notice that they aren't afraid to do things that normally scare them?
Maybe you notice that they avoid any talk of anything in the future?
Maybe they give you something they've always valued?
Maybe they are they being overly sappy?

It's difficult because many times on the surface it looks like they are actually doing better. If you know your friend, something deep down will still bother you though. It just won't feel right. Something will tell you that their new behavior is not right and there's nothing to base it on. Trust your instinct and talk to them and try to see what's really going on. Most people who are suicidal are calling out for help.

Here are also some important earlier warning signs that you should also look out for in the earlier stages that could eventually lead to suicide.

1. Severe depression that causes intense isolation
2. Any kind of cutting or self-mutilation
3. Any kind of research into death
4. Refusal to talk about plans in the future
5. Risky behavior such as driving fast or doing drugs

Learn more about this author, Alex Parker.
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