Friendship has been defined on the Cyber parent Web Page as being "an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy and intimacy". This is what true friendship should embody.

Sometimes many people believe they have true friends, until they get married, prosperity comes, and have children and so on. A husband and wife in their mid forties were away on holiday, whilst lying on the beach they decided to make a list of all their friends. As they went through their list they analysed the relationship they had with each one. Based on what they had come up with they began to strike off "so called" friends from their list. Whilst on holiday they made friends with a couple staying at the same hotel, they realised that they lived fairly close to each other back at home, and decided to keep in touch. Over time they all became exceptionally good friends, and realised there was an in-depth relationship that embodied all the qualities above, qualities which was absent from their "so called" friends. When the Christmas season came they decided that they would not send out Christmas cards to their friends. To their surprise they received fewer cards, and they were from those they considered to be genuine friends. This illustrated to me that there are friends that you can hold close to your bosom, friends that you hold at arms length, and friends that you say hello and move swiftly on your way.

You can tell if someone is a true friend if they look out for you spiritually, physically and mentally. A true friend has a holistic attitude towards friendship. Within this friendship intimate details can be shared with each other, there is an implicit trust toward each other that neither would divulged to a third person, because they understand each others feelings and know their thought life. A true friend will never let his or her friend make a decision that he/she knows will harm their relationship. If two friends agree to meet and one is running late, a true friend will wait no matter how long they have to wait.

If two friends were apart, and one is hopitalised on the other side of the world, a true and genuine friend will make the trip to be at their bedside no matter what the cost, because the reality is that some friends do find it hard to visit their sickly friends even if it is in the same part of town.

If two friends go shopping, and the shop assistant tried to convince your friend that she looked really good in a dress or something, and your friend saw that it is really awful, a real friend does not agree with the shop assistant and is prepared to make it clear verbally.

True friendship is loving your friend more than your own soul.

Learn more about this author, Ruth Jacob.
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