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When you have a friend who is having suicidal feelings, it can be one of the scariest things you can go through. You want to help, but you just don't know how. You fear they will take their own life, and you fear you will feel responsible. You probably think if you just do the right thing, you can prevent your friend from killing themselves. The fact is, you may not be able to stop it no matter what you do, and you are not responsible. The choice is theirs in the end. When trying to help someone who is suicidal, it is important not to get sucked in' to her problem. It is his/her problem, not yours, and a little detachment can help you keep your sanity while you help your friend. Losing it' doesn't help your friend, and it certainly doesn't help you.

1. The most important thing when talking to someone who is suicidal is to be yourself. Love them, let them know you care, be a shoulder to cry on, or a sounding board, but don't worry so much about what you say as how you say it. When a person is that low, they probably feel abandoned and feel that no one cares and there's no use. Your support can help hold them up until they can hold themselves up.

2. Listen, really listen, but without judging. A suicidal person has pain out of balance with their coping skills. Sometimes just having someone who will listen, give honest feedback ONLY when asked, and not judge them or make them feel as if they are crazy, can help lift them up enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel and realize it's not an oncoming train.

3. Don't turn his/her concerns into your own. You really do not know what they are going through, and even if you do they don't need to hear it right now. Telling them, Oh I know just how you feel' may sound like it will be comforting, but it usually feels more like belittling and makes the person feel even more hopeless.

4. Don't make light of their feelings. You may not understand their thinking; They may not understand their own thinking, but you should not make light of their feelings in either case. Their feelings are their feelings and are not up for judgment, they just are. Instead help them to watch for the ebb and flow of the feelings so they can realize the feelings will probably pass in time.

5. Don't try to fix them'. They don't need fixed, they need heard, understood, and a glimpse of hope. You are not responsible for their actions and trying to fix them' may enable them, or cause you to lose your own sanity.

6. Don't expect them to be rational'

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