by Laura Lytton

Created on: July 12, 2007

If you truly wish to catch your children's dreams and send them on their journey through life filled with positive self-belief, then the most powerful thing you can do for your children is to analyze your language patterns. The way you speak to your children shapes their belief system. Parents are the most powerful, influential people to their children and with that power comes huge responsibility. Think for a moment how language shapes your experience of the world. How a harsh word or negative description directed at you can hurt you physically as well as emotionally. It is no different for your child. In fact, it has an even greater impact on the developing mind. A child doesn't have the life skills or resources necessary to deflect the negativity directed at them by their parents they absorb it like a sponge, it becomes part of their experience and ultimately a part of how they view the world and themselves.

My little girl is eight years old and has just announced that she wants to be an astronaut. As an adult I know that the achievement of that dream will take a massive amount of resources and commitment (and talent) on her part and I could choose to take the view that her dream is so huge that the odds are she won't achieve it and therefore she should be realistic and aim for something a little more achievable. I obviously wouldn't explain my reservations directly, but my misgivings about her direction would be conveyed in my lack of interest and/or my attempts to steer her in a different direction (use of language). However, my view is that if she aims for the stars she just might make it to the moon. Who am I to stand in her way I've no idea at this point what she could achieve in life. I grew up with parents that were very blinkered in their outlook. Any dreams I had were viewed by them as unachievable. I was always encouraged to take the safe option and any attempt to break out of that mentality was taken personally. The kind of language used was: "why do you want to do that", "perhaps that's not such a good idea", "I wouldn't bother". A child wants to please its parents and there is a price to pay for them (psychologically) if they feel that their dreams are not viewed positively by you.

In order to propagate your children's dreams you need to realize and acknowledge that their potential limitless. It only later becomes limited by their experiences the foundations for the rest of their lives are set in childhood. Make sure that your child's foundations are strong and solid and that their self-belief remains in tact as they enter adulthood.

If children believe they can achieve self-doubt is the destroyer of dreams parents you hold their child's psychological future in your hands be gentle with it!

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