It is so painful to write about something that is so private and also shameful, and has been a lifetime struggle.

I seemed to be born obese, I was very overweight from 6 months old onwards. My mother took me to a hospital at two years old, to be examined as to why i was so obese at such a young age. That began my journey and battle with others and my own self for my health and well being.

Those doctors did what many people have advised me since - diet, live on bread, water and lettuce, starve yourself, etc.

My self-discovery for life's answers to the question of how to stop overeating/binging is a long and disciplined one, that has taken me to advocating for myself, learning the origins of why i started binge eating at so young, and why i still am drawn to doing it on a daily basis.

I went along the metaphysical path, searching for any underlying meaning to my behavior and my 'suffering'.

I do know i have a 'hunger' inside that i was (and still do at times) fill up with food. A 'hunger' and passion for life, for nature, for living, that seemed to be suppressed and shut down long ago.

I know the challenges of being born into a family who all believe they are 'better' than i am. 'Better' at being thin and good looking; 'better' at making money and succeeding in their career; 'better' at having a family and keeping it; better at making decisions and succeeding with them; better at relationships; and the list goes on.

How do you have 'self-worth' when you have all these 'genius' people around you that are your own family?

As, I got older I had the experience of meeting 'kindness in strangers'. Those people in the community who would reach out and love me unconditionally no matter what i did for them or gave to them or was to them. I have continued to meet such people throughout my life in various settings.

It helped me to change my perspective into reclaiming my 'self-worth', and what i contribute to this world. Now, I don't think of my family as so great, but more as normal everyday people with struggles and challenges like everyone else. They still think they are great! But, it has been my thinking about myself that has changed my life. Asking questions about this family i grew up with, and shaking the 'cobwebs' of 'their' truth to discover most of it wasn't what i thought.

So many revelations continue to come my way, as i learn and grow my way to health and hope i reach that external goal of being thinner than now. My eating has

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