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Many of us have done it in a fit of anger. It slips out before we even realize it. Then it's too late, you've already called your child a name no one should be called and maybe caused lasting damage to the child and your relationship.

A while back a tape was released of Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig". While he apologized, the damage was done. One good thing about it though, was that it made us think: is it ever OK to call a child a name? While most of us would probably say no, some seem to think there are times when it's not a bad thing. It is certainly recoverable if the parent immediately apologizes, taking responsibility for their words and making sure they don't do it again.

An article on the subject in the July 2007 issue of First magazine quotes two psychologists with differing opinions on the subject. Dr Robert Butterworth, Ph.D., claims that name calling is a form of abuse and that it is "better for parents to address what the child did than to negatively define who they are."

On the other hand, Sylvia Rim, Ph.D., says it is better for children to see their parents 'lose it' on occasion. She says, "many kids today aren't prepared for the real world because their parents never yelled at them and set unrealistic expectations of what the world is like."

In the poll on this issue, the magazine reports that 48% of people believe it's OK to call a child a name while 52% see it as abuse. 63% admitted to having "yelled at their children."

While it's certainly understandable, it can be absolutely devastating to a child. How can you feel good about yourself when the person who's supposed to love you most can call you such a horrible thing. So, it's best not to do it. However, if you do, it you must be sure to do damage control immediately to deflect long-term problems with your child. Be honest and let them know that people sometimes lose their temper and say things they don't mean. Apologize and ask for forgiveness for your actions. Assure the child that what you said is not true, but something said to be hurtful. Tell the child you were wrong.

Hopefully it will never happen to you. It is wrong, and if done over time, it can severely damage a child's self-esteem. If you can't stop, you need to get help with anger management before you do irreparable damage.

Learn more about this author, Angela S. Young.
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