The old fashioned, outdated, and (as far as I am concerned) never relevant image of a stay at home mom is someone who plays with her kids, eats lunch in front of the TV while watching four different soap operas and sleeps until it's time to make dinner. As a woman who has done both, I can tell you that this was not a typical day for me, unless my mother was visiting and gave me a break. This is a very unfair way to view the "stay-at-home" mom, who is seldom home; and makes this so called "debate" completely irrelevant.

I always joke with family and co-workers, I come to work to rest and relax. For the most part it is absolutely true. Unless you have a very physical job, you probably sit more at work than you do at home. In fact, the only time during my day that I even think about exercise is when I am stuck in my chair at work. It is a cruel irony, that I am too busy cleaning, cooking or working on PTA stuff to work out where I can (at home) and I am forbidden to work out at work. In all honesty, the only place I am ever bored is at work. I get tired of sitting, not to mention the pains in my shoulders, wrists and hands from the repetitive motion of working on the computer all day.

On the other hand, when I stayed at home for the first year of my daughter's life, I had never been so busy. My life was a constant barrage of baby toys, feedings, changing, cleaning, cooking and constantly picking up toys. I started at 7 and did not stop until 11pm. I planned trips to play groups and the library every week. I talked to her all the time and took her for walks every day. I spent as much time with my daughter as possible, I think we both benefited enormously from that. We are still close from that experience.

There are benefits to working outside of the home though, my daughter has always done very well in school and has learned much more than I could ever teach her on my own. She has made friends and had experiences that even the richest of people could not have provided for her. I went back to work at a time that she needed more interaction with more people than I could give her at home. There are good and bad aspects of both options and a well thought out blend of both if possible, seems to work best to me.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Quattro.
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