by S Bond Herndon

Created on: July 08, 2007

Somebody you know, somebody with an opinion at least, has told you "you need a tune up."

Your vehicle has started acting up. It doesn't idle very well, or it accelerates sluggishly, seems to misfire, your check engine light has come on, whatever the symptom, you've sought advice by asking around; mostly advice from other hapless vehicle owners who've had some similar experience and they all seem to say the same thing: "Tune it up!"

Now for the facts: unless you drive something very old, like a vintage, sixties muscle car or an antique, your vehicle can not be tuned up.

Hold on, I know. Uncle Buck said to have it tuned up. He tells you that he's tuned an engine or two in his day and time and therefore should be taken at his word-right?

Unfortunately, even though he's on the right track, and despite his protective feelings and intent on your part, no, Uncle Buck is sadly mistaken.

Did you ask Uncle Buck if He' would tune it up for you, since he knows so much about it? Did he tell you something like: "Well, not on these new-fangled cars"? Does he take one look at that high-tech engine and scratch his head? He should.

Your vehicle, any type made since the eighties essentially, has an engine that is monitored and controlled by computer. The days when points, plugs and finding top-dead-center (these are old tune up terms Uncle Buck would actually understand) no longer matter.

Sure, I know, you see those ads in the paper, or those coupon inserts in your mail box; Pep Boys, Firestone Master Care and the like are advertising Tune Up specials!' Why would they do that when your vehicle, not to mention pretty much all vehicles these days, no longer need actual tune ups?

Simple answer: Because there are a lot of Uncle Bucks out there and advertising is expensive. It is far cheaper to have a poor, beleaguered service writer attempt to explain the difference to you at the sales counter after you show up, coupon and false hope in hand.

There you are, expecting that the $29.95 Tune Up' special will fix your bad-idling, misfiring vehicle and hopefully get that danged Check Engine' light to go off. Now this person behind the counter is coming back and telling you that you actually are going to need hundreds of dollars worth of additional attention in order to fix' the problems you have told them about, and were, yourself, told that a tune up' would fix.

As Charlie Brown would say: "Argh!"

They are telling you that this Tune Up special is actually only a spark plug change, which is a

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