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O. K. I'll be the first to admit it. I am one of those women that likes to organize my world, including doing the necessary housework to maintain my own unrealistic standard of housekeeping. By doing so I am maintaining my much needed illusion, that is, that I have full control of my world. Or at least my own sacred space. I can be the one in charge in my flip flops or skimpy shorts and no one will care. I can open all the windows and let the bad air out with the beautiful notes sung by Josh Groban.

Since my home is the only true space that is mine. I can be sure that it is the only area that no one will claim, even if it gets dirty. Unless of course I too loose my home as others have in this turbulent time .

In this space I can do the least desirable housekeeping tasks, its almost a cathartic, cleaning out everything bad from sinks, floors, and out from under our beds, tossing them all away with the frustrations that I sometimes feel.

I can laugh in the face of mounds of dirty laundry. And say "you just wait until I am good and ready." Then I can take satisfaction in stuffing them into the washer. as if to wash away bad days with piles of smelly laundry. I can pour into the washing machine the strongest detergents and it is I, that has the power to make them softer. It is I , that can choose the scent that lingers as the washer woman's reward.

I have found that it works best for me if I do one project a day . I don't want to over estimate my commitment to housework. As it is a poor excuse and empty way to fill a day.

However, I do get a strange satisfaction from an orderly home. I smile to myself when I see the sun shine on polished furniture and my healthy plants growing in order as they should. Toward the light that comes into the grand window.

But is it funny or sick that I will open a closet door after having organized it, and get a strange satisfaction. That lasts for about one week and then clutter creeps in again.

I have and still do enjoy in some strange way the ability to walk away from something that annoys me , like dumping a silverware drawer gave me great satisfaction as I left it. Silverware scattered all over the floor. I thought to myself " You will get picked up when I am good any ready to pick you up " Now what silly thing does that mean ?

Probably nothing to anyone else but me.

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Learn more about this author, Olivia Bredbenner.
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