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Ah yes, the ever ongoing finger pointing war between the Ritaliners and the NonMedicators. Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It is a book by Dr. Kevin Ross Emery called ADD: Managing the Gift (www.kevinrossemery.com). I think everyone should read it, as it sheds new light on an old subject. It truly considers ADD a gift, not a disease or problem to be dealt with. It is very enlightening. Even to a thirty four year old who has, within the past year, been diagnosed with ADD. I have had it all my life, I just didn't have a name for it. No one ever said it to me. Because although I have it, I did well in school. Very well, actually. I graduated as Valedictorian. I did not act out or become violent or disruptive. I had a strong competitive nature. Even in elementary school, I remember racing to be done first, have the most correct answers, win the spelling bee, etc. etc. etc. When I finished first and then had to wait for everyone else, I went within. I doodled, I daydreamed, I read. I handled my ADD naturally, on my own. I never did figure out how to handle my compulsivity though, and still deal with it. But as an adult, I can be aware of it and work on it when it occurs.

As a child with ADD though, it is very difficult. You don't understand your feelings, or lack thereof. You don't understand the emotional ups and downs. You don't understand why you don't feel the same feelings everyone else does. If you have ADD, you understand what I am talking about. If you don't, this may be new to you. But people with ADD don't feel things the way "regular" people do. A lot of times we don't really have the feelings, we are just emulating how someone would act, as we have learned to do since childhood. Truly, this book was an eye opener for me. It stated things that I have never heard anywhere else, yet completely felt like the author was talking directly about me. Things that I had never really said to anyone because I was embarrassed or ashamed. And yet, here they were in black and white.

I read this book while on Ritalin. My marriage counselor had suggested medicating me, as she felt it was the cause of a lot of my marital issues. It worked to a degree. I lost 10 pounds which was great, but I felt like my creative nature was subdued. Like I just wasn't ambitious or a real thinker. I felt dumbed down. I went off the Ritalin after just 2 months. My husband and counselor still think I'm on it. I guess that goes to show you how much good it was doing. They can't

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