by Wendy Wright

Created on: July 03, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Ther most certainly is! Being cheated on is horrible thing for any person, male or female, to go through. It causes you to doubt yourself and everything you ever thought about the institute of marriage. It puts you in a dark place for awhile, one that you're never sure you'll ever come back from. But you have to. Life goes on, and for those of us with children, even grandchildren, you really have to. It's too easy to slip into the "feel sorry for me" mode and become very selfish. It's not easy to pick up the pieces and move forward. But this we must do.

Let me tell you my story: I was married to the same man for nearly twenty years, we had three beautiful daughters by the time we were 23. By the time we were 39 we had our first grandson. And then it all fell apart. One day he came home and announced that he wanted a divorce. Shocked? To say the least. He left. I found out two weeks later that there was another woman(an ex-stripper no less), and after some investigating found out that it had been going on for quite some time. I didn't know what to do. I fell into the deepest depression ever. Even though I still had two daughters at home, and a three month old grandson, I retreated into myself. I thought about and talked suicide. I cried and carried on. I stayed in bed for days on end sure that my life was over. After over a year of this, I finally sought help in the form of hypnotherapy. She was wonderful! She helped me to understand that I couldn't slip into the dark and ignore what was really the most important to me, my family. Unfortunately, although I was in a much better mental place, I still couldn't see my own self worth. I allowed him back into my life a couple of times, and tried hard to make the relationship work. Why? I was afraid of being alone. Eventually I realized that there was no more relationship, because there was no more trust, and I moved on.
After awhile I came to enjoy being on my own. No more having to answer to anyone, I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Financial decisions were mine alone, and I got the whole bed all to myself! And best of all, no more anxiety! I no longer had to wonder where my husband was or who he was with every time he walked out the door, because I truly no longer cared.
Eventually the love of my life, reentered my life (no, not my ex!). We've lived together for nearly a year now and plan to get married as soon as my divorce is final. I didn't go looking for love, it found me. And I now know that all of the pain and suffering I endured at the hands of the one I thought I loved, were what I had to go through to get to where I am today. In the happiest place I could imagine!

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