by Mary Pat Withem

Created on: July 03, 2007

My family has adopted two children, one from a foreign country. From my experience, a card can mean a lot to the parents. The best gift you can give adopting parents is your support. My mother adopted me when i was 2 1/2 years old and her father never called her or even once acknowledged that I was being adopted.

The worst feeling in the world is nonacceptance. Its so hard because you are welcoming a family member even if its not your natural born child its still going to be a child of yours. Loving and embracing the child is a huge task in itself. Especially if the child is older.

My sister was adopted when she was four and she's the greatest person alive but when she was adopted, she had this horrible personality. She'd bite everybody and make them feel so frustrated. She had no language developed. With that in mind, support is the best gift you can give any adopting parent.

Yes, typically you'd get gifts for the child but you should also give gifts to the parents too. Little gift cards that are homemade saying you'll come over and cook dinner on a date that the parents choose. offer babysitting, chores, etc. Things that people that aren't parents take for granted not having to do for other people.

If you do massage therapy give them a free gift for a 1 hour massage. There are so many things you can do for a parent that doesn't cost anything except 1 or 2 hours of your time. It truly shows them that they have a support system and they're not alone in this.

Gifts for the children should be checked with the parents because some parents don't want their kids watching movies or doesn't want their kids playing with specific toys. With that in mind, get them toys, books, movies, games etc etc. (remember, its important to think of the parents and age appropriate games as well.)

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