by Kindalikesorta

Created on: July 03, 2007

Transformers? No Thanks.

The Transformers were a line of toys that became popular in the early 1980's onward, spawning a cartoon series, comics, and feature-length animated film in 1986. Known for their super-cool ability to transform into machines resembling Earth vehicles, the Transformers are an emblem of childhood happiness for many teen and adult males today.

My favorite Transformer was the almighty Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots (the good guys), who would transform into a red and blue semi-truck. Believe me, it was cool.

When I remember the Transformers, I smile with a bit of nostalgia and hear the catchphrase, "Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye". Then a sharp pain stabs my heart as I remember my mom selling all the cool figures, including several Optimus Primes, at a garage sale for like a nickel each, when they could be now be worth hundreds of dollars. Thanks, Mom.

Now it's 2007, and "Transformers", helmed by blockbuster director, Michael Bay ("The Island", "Armageddon"), is probably the most anticipated movie of the summer. Sadly, it sucks. It shall henceforth be remembered as one of the biggest letdowns of 2007.

Although, I'm not sure what I was expecting from a movie about giant, warring, shape-shifting, alien robots whose battleground happens to be our little planet, but I know I was expecting better.

The robots are really cool-looking and steal the show with their more-human-than-the-actual-human-actors behavior and conversations. And it's fun to watch them destroy downtown Los Angeles in their confusing and chaotic battles, but a whole gaggle of quick-cut glimpses and interspersed cheesy one-liners cannot make up for a weak and pointless story.

At a too-long, two-and-a-half hours, "Transformers" drags along, wasting the comedic skills of Shia LaBeouf ("Disturbia") and character acting of Jon Voight ("Pearl Harbor") and John Turturro ("Mr. Deeds") in boring scenes. And will someone tell me why Megan Fox is in this movie other than for being blatant eye-candy? Who's Megan Fox, you ask? Exactly.

Unless you're a Transformers-can-do-no-wrong kind of fan, you might want to offer a polite, "no, thanks."

Transformers: more than meets the eye? I wish.

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Rating: 2 stars out of 4
Grade: C+

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