by Charlene N.

Created on: July 03, 2007   Last Updated: May 31, 2010

This is not the Hilton. There's no maid to make your bed and pick up your dirty underwear. There's no continental breakfast that magically appears and dirty dishes that disappear. We are a family and we need to work together to make the family function and to keep the house comfortable. That's why household chores are a part of life.

The first key to dividing up household chores is for me to have a good attitude. If I'm grouchy about housework, or if I'm sloppy in caring for the house, my sons are likely to adopt my attitude. That doesn't mean I have to love housework-I don't and I tell my boys that I don't. But even though I don't like it, I still get it done and do it well.

The next key is to start young so that helping with chores is a habit and assign chores to the ability of the child. A three-year old will be overwhelmed with cleaning his room but can certainly put his toys into the toy box. A six-year old would find cleaning the kitchen daunting but can certainly dry and put away the dishes while I wash.

The third key is to define the chores so that everyone knows exactly what's expected, what constitutes a "job well-done". It's not enough for me to say "Go clean the bathroom." I need to have the child work alongside me for a several weeks, cleaning the bathroom. As I do it, I point out to him cleaning techniques, problem areas, the proper tools and cleaners to get the job done, and tips that save time and effort.

There are three categories of chores. The first is personal space which includes the child's bedroom, playroom and his own belongings. Each child is responsible for his own personal space. This includes making his bed, picking up his toys, putting his laundered clothes away, etc. It also means picking up after himself-clearing his own dishes from the table, putting his dirty clothes and towel into the hamper after a bath, putting his toothbrush away, etc.

The next area is common chores. These are chores that we all have to do, so we take turns. These include doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms and living spaces and yardwork. When the children were little we rotated the chores daily, with Mom covering three or four of the days of the week. As they got older they would have the same chore for two to three days before rotating and Mom would only do the chore once or twice a week. As a teenager, they get the same chore for one week before moving to a different one.

The last category of chores is special cleaning. These are the big projects like

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