by Alex Benson

Created on: July 02, 2007   Last Updated: March 04, 2008

Alex looked down at the assignment sheet with disgust, something had to be done.
Alex stood up from his cramped desk and with all the charisma and bravery he had at his disposal and put his very reputation on the line.
"Misses Audrey Ticklebottom, I cannot stand for this." Noticing the obvious irony in his first words he quickly revised his opening statement and corrected himself.

"Misses Tickle Bottom, I cannot allow this." He liked the way that sounded much more come to think of it. Miss Tickle Bottom arched her right brow surprisingly higher than her left, so different was the level it almost looked as if her right eyebrow was a hairy wrinkle at the very top of her forehead and for that matter very intimidating to Alex who was now very much so the center of attention in the classroom of forty or so tired and bored eigth graders.
"Is there a problem mister Benson?" She put a very strong emphasis on the word problem and Benson,
"Well yes madam I believe there is." Replied Alex quickly, taking note of the students who were looking at him to try and formulate a speech that would sway the majority of the room in his favor.
"Mrs. Audrey I believe that I was put on this planet by something or someone, be it god or a third party who I've yet had the pleasure to meet, with a purpose in mind that which is much greater then the correct spelling of certain words the importance of which I feel I personally have no use for. It is this purpose in mind that I would find it appropriate for you to redeem yourself by putting such useless tasks as to the spelling of these words behind us and let us follow our true calling."
"And what calling is that Mr. Benson?" Asked Miss TickleBottom incredulously, Alex took a while to think this one through and after a quick pause he said confidently
"Physical activities for the betterment of our ability to follow this calling, seeing that it might take a lot of walking and running to do so."
"Anything particular in mind Mr. Benson?" After a brief pause Alex replied,
"Soccer." Several boys in the classroom agreed loudly, making Mrs. Ticklebottom's right eyebrow rise to what seemed even greater heights than ever before.
"Out!" Said Mrs. Ticklebottom pointing towards the classroom door; Put back at the sharp order Alex thought it better to stand his ground,
"But Mrs. Ticklebottom listen to reason
"I've reason enough to kick you out of this classroom myself Sir Benson, another disruption of this sort will lead to immediate notification of your parents as to the nature of your misbehavior!" At that, Alex clenched his fists and headed for the door,
"It was the same sick god that put me in this classroom with you that gave you the last name TICKEBOTTOM!"
"Perhaps you will find your calling in the principles office, Mr. Benson." Said Mrs. TickleBottom just loudly enough so that Alex could hear her just before he was out of the room, he put no effort into a quite exit, if your going to go out go out with a bang, and he did just that slamming the classroom door. Find my calling in the principles office, that's crap, Alex muttered, he glanced at his watch which read 1:30, Oh well, he thought to himself, looks like schools ending an hour earlier than expected. The thought came just as he walked past the principles office and out of Bullfurd High.

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