by Jayme Jones

Created on: July 02, 2007

I'm not an exhibitionist, and at 44, I'm not going to be.
But if I want to go to the beach, I'm going to wear a bathing suit, and that's that. Even if my bra size is now 36 LONG, I have some belly action and my thighs haven't looked right since the days when I ran high school track.
Ladies, here's what you have to remember when you go to the beach or the pool. No matter how bad you think you look, there will ALWAYS be someone there who looks worse than you. There will be someone who's too skinny, too heavy, wearing the wrong size or showing too much cleavage.

But does that mean you want to be uncovered all the time? Heck, no.
You might want to cover up if you're heading to the beach club for a drink, or up to the Boardwalk to take a walk, or even if you're feeling a little bit funny about your "jiggly bits."
There's lots of options. Here's some of my favorites:
1. My favorite is a pair of board shorts. You know, those ones that look vaguely like men's swimming trunks. Or you can steal your husband's trunks, but you'd want to cut out the underwear liner first!
You want ones that dry really quickly so you're not walking around with a wet butt. Jean shorts are okay in a pinch, but they stay wet too long. The board shorts are better.
Another great thing about board shorts - if you're going to a water park, you can leave them on over your bathing suit while you're doing the water slides and stuff, and you won't be one of those sad women picking the wedgies out of your butt as you're walking around. The water slide people won't say anything to you about board shorts - but they will say something about other kinds of shorts. That's because board shorts are swimwear, too.
I bought two pairs recently at the store with the big blue sign (Not allowed to advertise on here, but it rhymes with Wal-Fart) for $11.

2. A men's tank top, one that's way too big for you. You can wear it just like a tank over your suit, or, if it's long enough, you can tie the sleeve holes together in the back for a simple cotton sundress.

3. A large cotton button down shirt. Make sure it's really thin though, or you'll get too warm.

4. A nice scarf or sarong. You can tie it low like a skirt, or up and around like a sun dress. This is the better option if you're heading up to the club for a drink.

5. A big t-shirt is okay, but really, it gets too warm. Plus it looks too much like nightwear and it's just too baggy and not cute at all.

6. Cover up? Who needs a cover up? If people don't want to look at you, they can turn the other way? What do you care? You're fabulous, dah-ling.
(that's what I call covering up with attitude and nothing else.)

Have a great summer!

Learn more about this author, Jayme Jones.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.