1 of 26

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 3

another foster home. Many foster parents send a child away with only what the child came to them with keeping clothing they paid for.

2. Are you being messianic? (Do you believe that you alone can save a particular child from the world?)

You may know about a family with children that is in crisis and therefore the children will be put into foster care. You may have a big heart and want to just scoop those kids up and take them home. Sometimes this works out but a big heart can sometimes make you leap without looking. Remember that these are still foster kids, even if you knew them before they came into the system. They will have issues and all of the other vital considerations of bringing foster children into you family must be considered. If you can't say no now to bringing them home despite indicators it isn't a good idea, how will you deal with sending them back home when the foster placement ends?

3. Are you just looking for supplementary income?

Some people actually use foster children for income. This is just sick and twisted. Parenting is a job but it is a job with spiritual rewards not monetary ones so if you need income get a paper route. Foster children need love and their needs will exceed the paltry monthly payment you'll receive for taking take of them.

4. Are you capable of letting go of a child you may grow close to?

I know from experience that letting go of a foster child is hard, very hard. If you have a heart big enough to take a child in you will be hurt when they leave, even if you know it is best for them to go. I fostered a little four year old for four months before the child was adopted by extended family. The family even came and lived with me for a week so we could transition the child smoothly. I came to believe they were good people and I was happy the child got a family but I loved that little one. The child was just delightful. One night we were watching television and the child turned and held my face and looked at me in the eyes and said, "You have a very beautiful face." That kind of love is hard to release but if you foster parent you too will face the moment when you have to let a child go.

5. Are you unwilling or incapable of staying verbally neutral about the child's parents who may have done some serious, even criminal things to the child?

This is a hard thing to do especially with older children who you may mistakenly think you can reason with about their need to move on in their lives. Children are forever linked to their parents

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to tell if foster care is really for you?
We want to hear your view. Write now!