by AJ Lat

Created on: July 02, 2007   Last Updated: November 01, 2010

I heard someone say once... you do not need a lot of people to love you...you just need the RIGHT people to love you!
I am beginning to see the lack of family support I have received (or not received) in my lifetime as a blessing in disguise. Quite frankly I have realized that wanting my family (meaning mother and sister) to show up for me, making that such a huge focus has robbed me of seeing WHAT IS! Who is there and all the joy I should be experiencing in my life.

Yes, I have done all the "Dr.Phil" suggestions. Communicating how I feel and even asking why there has been a lack of support for me. But the truth is, I never get the answers I wanted or THOUGHT I wanted.

I am beginning to learn how to deal with lack of support from these people that I unknowingly set up as THE people I need in my life! For some reason... it is still unclear to me... my family seems to rally around each other when they face trying times but the treatment for me is entirely different. As aforementioned for years this situation has cost me dearly. I have felt sad, mad, and even angry!

In recent months I have decided to use those feelings as fuel for change rather than let them bring me down. Once again, I went to my mother and my sister expressing how it feels to be the one out of the loop. The difference was THIS TIME I was not emotional about it, but FACTUAL. Rather than being vague I gave exact instances where they turned their hearts and heads when I needed help. I did not blame, accuse or rant and rave...and I quit speaking from the place of a victim. YESSSSSSSSS!

I began to see that my family was not really plugged in to their own lives much less mine. I began to realize that because I was the one always asking the hard questions they resisted me. Perhaps they saw me as the strong one who simply did not need their support!

How did seeing myself as a victim in this situation rob me? Well, I have a wonderful support system of friends...and my husband is one of my greatest supporters and how many women would kill for that?

I also began to see that my friends and I actually were on "the same page" while my family and I are not only NOT on the same page, book... or heck even in the same library!

I found myself journal-ling to dump the pain and in the process I began to be thankful for their lack of support! I did have to dump that pain, anger and frustration to get to a better place : )I changed the way I saw the situation and my whole outlook shifted...now I am grateful and can focus on those who are in my life.Those who DO show up over and over again for me!

Such a burden has been lifted off of me because now I realize I wasted a lot of energy focusing on what I thought I wanted and needed...all the while I had all the support I need... All the while I had the right people to love me!

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