by Julia Koch

Created on: July 02, 2007

Malice

I am a walking nightmare
Haunting every thought
Every feeling is mine.
Do you like my eyes?
My eyes of forgd steel, a doorway
Hiding the ice behind innocence.
Sometimes I get scared
Cornered and lonely and scared
And then I can't breathe
And I fall down and I try
To bring back my mind which ran away.
My mind hates me too
That's when I hurt myself.
Sometimes I get angry
And burning rock rises to my throat
Burning, hissing, shouting at you
Boiling, flaming, screaming at you
I hate you, but I don't, really.
I really, truly love you.
And I hold it all inside of me
And it hurts me.
Sometimes I feel sad
And the molten rock
Melts the ice in my eyes
And the water runs down my face
Like a river.
And then I can't see properly
And I imagine that blood is pouring
From my black heart
So dark it has no dimension
Bleeding through my eyes and nose and mouth
I think I'm dying, but I'm not
And then I get sick
They say I am sick, they say so
All of them.
And I believe them too.
I am a walking nightmare
Haunting every thought
Every feeling is mine
Do you still love me?

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